Don't Tell
by leeleekiti
Summary: Taking place a few years after Lilly's good ending. Hisao's heart has finally given out, and Lilly and Hanako are living together, along with Lilly and Hisao's child, and Akira (though she is just helping out).


"L-Lilly?"

My voice came out as barely more than a whisper, but thanks to Lilly's light sleeping habits and near supersonic hearing, she bolted upright in bed, alarmed.

"Hanako? What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

I looked down at my feet. "No, she's fine. I- I just- I can't sleep and wanted to- to talk to you about something."

She fell back onto her pillows, obviously relieved. "What time is it?" she asked, starting to lose her alertness.

My eyes flickered to her clock out of habit, even though I knew that it was useless to me, especially across the room. "I- I don't really know… I can just come back in the morning if-"

"Hanako, if it's important enough to keep you awake, it's important enough to talk to me about, no matter what time it is," she replied gently. She patted the spot next to her on the bed. "Come here."

I obediently walked over and climbed onto the bed, reluctantly positioning myself in the spot once taken by one of my first real friends. We sat in silence for a moment while I nervously played with the blanket and gathered my thoughts.

"Don't tell her," I finally forced out in a rush.

Lilly nodded absently, not seeming sure what I was talking about but allowing me time to explain.

"About H- H- Hisao." I focused my attention on the rectangle of light falling on the bed from the slightly open door. "Don't tell her- don't tell her why he- I don't want her-"

Lilly's hand went up to my face and cupped my right cheek in her palm. She lightly brushed her thumb over the scars that she had avoided since the first time I allowed her to feel my face when we were at Yamaku. I closed my eyes. We just sat there like that, her feeling my daily reminder of what I had caused all those years ago and I trying not to let any tears loose, until she finally felt wetness on her fingers. Realizing I was crying, she pulled her hand away and wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders. I leaned against her, letting her support me like she had for so long.

"I don't want her- to grow up- the way I did," I said, my breath catching in silent sobs. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I don't want her to know that he- that when you- that…"

She started humming softly, the tune from the music box Hisao had given her during our last year at Yamaku making an appearance again as it usually did when I was troubled over his loss.

"I don't want her to feel- don't want her to feel like it's her fault. I don't want her- to hate herself."

"She won't," Lilly said softly. "We won't let her."

I quieted down as she reached up to stroke my hair.

"We can be there for her the way someone should have been there for you. She will never think she caused his heart attack," she said, a forceful determination making its way into her otherwise calm and quiet tone. "She will never wish she had never been born. You and I will keep that from happening."

She went back to humming and started rocking me back and forth. When I finally declared myself completely calm, I pulled out of her grasp.

"Sleepy yet?" Lilly asked.

"Y- yeah," I said, which was somewhat a lie and somewhat the truth.

She smiled, took my head in her hands, and kissed me on the forehead. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Good night, Hanako. Sleep well."

"Good night, Lilly," I responded, making my way off her bed and out of her room.

I was almost back to my own room when I heard the baby start to fuss. I paused for a moment, waiting to see if Lilly or Akira would come get her. When she started to wail, I took a deep breath and opened her door. She was standing in her crib, her little hands shaking the bars. I walked over and picked her up, tentatively transferring her to my hip as I had seen Lilly and Akira do time and time again.

"Shh, Orichan," I whispered. I started to sway from side to side the way Lilly did with both of us. Oridzuru began to quiet down, and I let out a sigh of relief. Her bottom didn't seem wet, and she had just been fed by Akira not too long ago. She had to have been just crying because she was lonely. I wondered if she would miss her dad while growing up. Probably not too much. She'd never met him, as Hisao had his final heart attack while Lilly was in labor. I wondered how old she'd get before she realized that her dad wasn't around the way the other kids' were, how Lilly would choose to explain it to her, and if she'd blame herself anyway. I decided not to worry about it, though, because Lilly and I would always be there to pick up the pieces.


End file.
